i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
