my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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