? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
