just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
