You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
