see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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