one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
