his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Terrible idea I love it
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
