i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize