Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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