WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize