so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
