when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
