apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize