you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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