Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
