My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
