Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
