would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I love you. Go after that dick
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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