I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
