She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
