I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It's just like the Real World with babies
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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