he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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