I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
pray to the hookup gods
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize