i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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