Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize