I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
