The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
