going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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