sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
