Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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