you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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