Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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