I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
