He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
