I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
