Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize