Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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