god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
