Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
