was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
