He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize