The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
