Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
