I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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