I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
