seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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