I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
