God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
