i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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