How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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