do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
did you just send me my own nude
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
