Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
