I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
