Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
