you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
