How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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