butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
