Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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