She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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