covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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