haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
