why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
