I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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