In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
