Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
