okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
