im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
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