Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
