Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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