Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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