Don't make out with my wife yet
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
