Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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